We’ve read memoirs that have changed our lives or at least the way we perceive the world. From Eat, Pray, Love to Under the Tuscan Sun, to Marley and Me, the images of these memoirs stick with us for probably a lifetime. We relate to the real life characters through their vulnerable gaze at the world or through their humor; sometimes both.
But why are specific memoirs engraved on our brains while others cause us to yawn? And what are the challenges memoirists face even when they make their crafting of a real life narrative seem like a cake walk? I’ve met aspiring writers who try to launch their career with a memoir instead of poetry, short fiction or even a novel. Having written in all those formats, I find that writing memoirs is the most challenging and here are my reasons for thinking so.
Writer Can’t Hide Behind Fictional Characters
I started my career as a music journalist where I had the opportunity to voice my opinions in the form of reviews but I never had to reveal my own vulnerabilities and frailties. Journalists are taught to look at the world from the outside and to remain objective (almost cold and indifferent in some cases). Then as a novelist and short fiction writer, I was able to play around with a palette of emotions while still remaining on the outside.
Then when I became homeless in 2014 in Bellingham, Washington, I wrote my first memoir. I could no longer hide behind characters and now I was coming out of hiding to tell my stories from my painful childhood and also the shame of living in between homes. I exposed the lives of real people even though I changed their names. And the main question for me at the time was, wonder if someone files a lawsuit against me for exposing the underbelly of a corrupt housing market? Needless to say, I never published my memoir, Woman Sleeping on the Couch and I never completed it’s follow up which was even a more incredible story of homelessness.
Avoid Sounding Trite
Writing a memoir isn’t the same as keeping a diary. The reader isn’t going to care about daily activities even for someone living in a homeless or refugee camp. A memoir still needs a beginning, middle, climax and resolution in the same way that a novel does. A memoir should only focus on a short period of time and laser focus on a single event or situation.
Yes, Liz Gilbert traveled to three locations for her memoir, Eat, Pray, Love. However, her themes of loss and confusion that led to a divorce and then healing from the divorce held together as a single story because she included a beginning, middle, climax and resolution. It also helped that Liz had written fiction and travel articles prior to penning her best seller memoir. But her brilliance came in the form of stringing stories together to resemble prayer beads.
Avoid Repeating Scenarios
Another mistake we all make when we write personal stories is that we can lose the thread of the sequence of events. If you’re a multidimensional writer who melds the past with the present, then it’s easy to get caught up in the trap of revisiting the same scenarios and then forgetting that you already mentioned them earlier in the manuscript.
This is why it’s a good idea to keep a notebook to write down all the scenarios and then check them off after they have been used in the manuscript. Create a spread sheet. Also keep a list of important people and the roles they played as well as any changes of names to protect identities.
Avoiding the Passive Voice
Phrases that drive me crazy when I read a memoir are ones that start with “would have” or “would”. Why not just make those active sentences with action verbs? I’m surprised that passive and weak sentences even make it into the final draft or published book.
While it’s okay to write in a passive voice for the first few drafts, craft and polish your sentences and paragraphs prior to the publication.
Examples of a passive voice: Leroy, the dog would come to my door each morning.
A better sentence is:
Leroy arrived at my door each morning, pushed the door open ajar and then gazed at me with his let’s go for a walk eyes.
Instead of: I would get up each morning and drink my coffee while gazing out the window at rain.
I drank my morning coffee while gazing at the rain through a picture window.
Facing Fear of Exposing One’s Soul
Writing a memoir isn’t for the feint of heart or people who protect their privacy. As a memoirist you choose to expose a slice of your life to anyone willing to read it. You expose your foibles to judgmental and even harsh readers. If your memoir climbs the best selling lists then you’ll appear in the media where you receive both praise and scrutiny. If your friends, former partners, family members, or previous co-workers appear in your memoir, there’s the possibility of backlash.
You might fear having your life exposed. You might fear persecution which most likely won’t happen unless you’re tackling a controversial topic and readers view you as a whistle blower. If ever you needed to thicken your skin, it’s when you share a personal event with the public.
But on the other hand, by sharing your fragile story with the world, you gain a loyal following. You might find that people relate to your story and that you helped your readers heal their own life experiences.
I remember when Eat, Pray, Love was published and women going through divorces flocked to the novel and they shared their stories with other women. Also, because of the popularity of this memoir that was later made into a movie starring Julia Roberts, more aspiring writers decided to write their memoirs. And if you remember going to the public library and bookstores around 2008 to about 2020, you’ll recall seeing the book shelves full of memoirs.
Conclusion
I don’t know if memoirs are still trending because I lost the thread of the book publishing industry post pandemic. However, I hope they are still trending because I have a dog memoir and a travel memoir that await publication. It’s my hope that dog memoirs are still trending but whose to say since the average book publishing cycle could take years before book hits the market.
However, trends aside, if you have a story to tell and you believe that telling your story makes the world a better place, then write that memoir. But avoid the pitfalls so that your readers quote you and share your scenarios decades from now.
This article was human-generated. Please support content written by humans (not robots). Thank you.
Often times we think we’re going to sit down and write the Great American novel. Or we want to write the next big fantasy series. But we find that family members or elements of our life distract us from pursuing our novel-writing dream.
After writing the fourth draft of my memoir, I reread my work without cringing. Since we are multidimensional beings who experience the past, present, and future while we write, bitter memories rear their heads. Yet, by the final draft, we can make peace with those dragons while still writing what’s true to our hearts.
belleauthor (Patricia Herlevi) 