Bedfellows–Guilt & Procrastination

DSCN6933Some people might never write a novel despite saying that they dream of becoming a novelist. And others buy the books, take the workshops, attend the conference and they still don’t write the novel. Then an author like me who has written novels, gets stuck in the procrastination mode when beginning a new novel.

If you have watched the movie, Under a Tuscan Sun, you’ll recall at the beginning of the movie when Frances tells a fellow professor that she has a guilt-inducing and chocolate-eating process called procrastination. But once she got over the procrastination part she becomes a writing machine.

So, I’m now working on my 6th novel. I actually began writing it the spring of 2017 and I’m only on page 35. Well, originally I thought I was writing a short YA story, not that I had a clue of where I would publish it. And the story idea and the characters enticed me to write at all because I had already written 5 unpublished novels so I either needed a vacation or to call it quits.

But then, I was like the pregnant woman who doesn’t want to have anymore children but at age 48 she finds that she’s pregnant. I didn’t actually feel like I was done writing novels, but I wanted a long break from writing long form. Writing 300 pages, developing characters, battling with a plot, etc…is often draining.

I promised myself that I would write three pages today. But other things came up. I walked the dog. I made lunch twice. I went to the thrift store, I washed what I bought at the thrift store, I spent too much time on Facebook, and I watched Bangles videos on YouTube, all of which had nothing to do with writing three pages.

I wrote only a few paragraphs. And I researched ancient African queens for one of my characters. Usually when I writer procrastinates the reason revolves around not having enough informtion. Or maybe the plot is half-baked and walking around the block or walking the dog loosens the brain. Walking helps us get into the flow or it adds another distraction to the list especially if you jump from tangents the way I do.

Or maybe, I just need to take a nap. Other distractions include asking my oracles cards the same question over again, folding my clothing several times, cleaning out my desk drawer, or cleaning the entire house when I was only going to wash one window. And since spring is on the way, isn’t it time to sort through clothing and give some away…I digress because I am procrastinating.

Instead of writing my novel I am blogging about a writer’s block. And then, I’m fighting off doubts the way a horse swats at flies with his tail. And one of those doubts that nags me asks, “Who are you to write a young adult novel?” (So, this doubt is the culprit. Naughty doubt).

I’ll answer that question in another blog post. Until then, I’m going to roll around in my guilt until I beome a writing machine.